When we are born, we are still connected to great spiritual wisdom and power through our core. This connection to our core and therefore to spiritual wisdom and power gives the feeling of complete safety and wonder. During the maturation process, the connection slowly fades. It is replaced by parental voices intended to protect us and make us safe. They speak of RIGHT & WRONG, of GOOD & BAD, how to make decisions, and how to act or react in any gives situations. As desperately to replace the original innate wisdom with a functioning ego. Unfortunately, the overlay parental voices can never really do the job. Instead, what is produced is Mask self.
The mask self is our first attempt to right ourselves. With it, we attempt to express who we are in a positive way that is also acceptable to a world that we are afraid will reject us. We present our mask self to the world according to our beliefs of what we think the world says is right, so that we can be accepted and feel safe. The mask self strives for connection with others because that is the “right” thing to do. But it cannot accomplish deep connection because it denies the true nature of the personality. It denies our fear and negative feelings.
We put our best into the creation of the mask, but doesn’t work. The mask never succeeds in producing the internal feeling of safety for which we strives. In fact, it produces the internal feeling of an impostor because we are trying to prove we are good, and we aren’t good all the time. We feel like fakes, and we become more afraid. So we try harder. We use the best in us to prove that we are good. This produces more fear, especially because we can’t keep it up all the time, more feeling of fakery, more fear, in a building cycle.
“The intention of the fake mask is to protect us from an assumed hostile world by proving that we are good.
The intention of the fake mask is pretense and denial. It denies that its purpose is to cover up pain and anger, because it denies that pain and anger exist within the personality.
The fake mask’s intent is to protect the self by not taking responsibility for any negative actions, thoughts, or deeds.”
From the perspective of our mask, pain and anger exist only outside the personality. We don’t take any responsibility. Anything negative that happens must be somebody else’s fault. We blame them. That means it must be somebody else that is angry or in pain.
The only way to maintain this false image is to always try to prove that we are the good ones. Inside we resent that constant pressure we place on ourselves to be good. WE TRY GO BY THE RULES.
We resent having to live according to somebody else’s rules. It’s a lot work. We just want to do what we feel like doing. We get tired, we get angry, we don’t care, we blurt out negative complaints. We hurt people. The energy that we have held in with the mask twists, pushes, leaks out at others. And off course we deny that as , since our intent is to MAINTAIN SECURITY BY PROVING WE ARE THE GOOD ONES…
Somewhere inside, we enjoy lashing out. Letting out the energy is a relief, even if it isn’t clear and straight, even if we are not acting responsibility when we do it. There’s a part of us that enjoys dumping our negativity on someone else. This is called negative pleasure. Its origin is in the lower self.
